Bitter Mad Woman: When Past Relationships with Born-again, Republican, Evengelical, Erstwhile Chums emerge and Go Completely Fucking Mental.

Here’s an ongoing  story about a Boy and a Girl.

The Story, the Saga, the Epic Nightmare continues!

Childhood Church Buddies, separated for 30 years and then re-united through a Social Networking site.

One would think they could pick up where they left off 30 years ago, but alas! It was not meant to be.

Time, Experiences, and a Vast Ocean all have their part in how things turned out.

Read on Dear Reader and hope this never happens to you… and if it is does, turn into a positive experience, something to better your life and others around you.

There have been a few Updates & PROgression in this ongoing drama… kick off the shoes and get the mind ready!
Social Networking Sites have their Pros and Cons, I focus on the Pros i.e. Putting Ideas out there to seduce a friend (or Foe!) and entice dialogue where those reading, hopefully, will take something away to somehow enrich their Lives as it somehow does mine.

Often posted are Quips slamming organized Religion, Politics and poking a bit of fun at things that happen in our Day to day Lives. Nothing too serious or grave… just asking questions and watching the People react.

From the interesting debates – debates that were fun, not ‘too’ serious, and offered a little something for everyone – many of you witnessed the emergence of my Erstwhile Chum named Kristen (I’ll keep her full name off my Blog for now).

Many of you – some of you long time friends here in Taiwan; others long time participants on the goings-on on my Wall, blog and other media – began asking who this woman was and why she hated me so.

All of the Kristen Hullabaloo these last few months has spurred me to write a bit of History (scant as it is) and my thoughts on the whole affair.

I must preface with what I am to write with -I know her about as well as she knows me –  which is not very well at all.

All I have to go on are memories, my journal I kept from then, my poetry (some of the poems dedicated to her, I’ll post a few in the near future) her posts and limited information about her from her profile, but I will be as articulate as possible and recollect some events as best as possible.

I do know this, she is a Born Again Christian Evangelical Fundamentalist who loves Jesus and who votes mostly Republican.

Writing this piece (written in haste and only two revisions) is as much for me as it is for you, Dear Reader.

Questions abound concerning Kristen. Who is she? Why is she so bitter? Where is her sense of humor? Is she for real? Were you lovers at one point? Was it a Bitter Break-up? Is she dangerous?

Rather than answer each question individually (very time consuming), I tried to get all the bits (I slammed out in an hour as succinctly as possible) in this all encompassing Narrative.

Apologies for any discombobulated bits.

Get yourself a cup of tea, or a beer, perhaps a glass of wine; sit back and enjoy the Latest Diatribe (or Pertinent Information for some of you!) so you know how to deal with this woman (and there are more like her in the world) in the future when her proverbial pen vomits on my little piece of Cyber Space (or, egad, yours!).

Kristen and I were Church Buddies at a church called South Shore Baptist Church in the very affluent town of Hingham (where Kristen apparently resides now). I think I was about 8 or 9 when we started going to that church. I enjoyed my time there mostly, I made friends, went on their picnics; went on their Jesus Camp-esque retreats and summer/winter camps.

I was, to many I suppose, your average Christian Kid trying to do right by Jesus.

When I was about 12 or 13 – you know, when the hormones get going and you start to re-think looking at a girl with lust in your heart as a sin – I started asking questions about what I believe.

Kristen and I would have long conversations, sometimes on the church steps; sometimes by phone, the conversations were often about Jesus, our lives, my relationships with people, her relationships with her mother, which at the time were not good… especially if her mom knew she was talking to me.

Her mom absolutely deplored me.

Lots of Christian Moms deplored me, but Kristen’s Mom took first place.

Note that I have fond memories of Kristen that I try to keep alive despite her recent on-line activity.

My rebellion at The Church was evident and many of the parents cautioned their children (my friends/acquaintances) to stay away from me as I might corrupt them. Kristen still snuck phone calls to me and I called her too. When her Mom answered I disguised my voice and asked for Kristen or I would hang up the phone and try again later. We were buddies… and I must say that she did stick to her guns – despite her mother – then, as she does now.

Note this relationship between Kristen and I was friends only, I don’t think either of us ever thought it was more than platonic. In my mind, she was kind of like one of the boys. She was tall and athletic and had a nice loud boisterous laugh and I remember she had a great sense of humor (I’m not sure where that Sense went).

I continued going to the church, but was rebelling even more – giving smokes to the church boys; sneaking whiskey into Sunday school; and at the same time struggling with my relationship with Something I was not sure existed, at least not in the sense I was being taught.

Prayers went out for God to show his grace on me, I even made the ‘prayer chain’ (this is what X-ians do when they feel there is an Emergency Need and someone needs help – helping without really getting their hands dirty) so that I had about 100 people praying for me in one night.

I look back on that time, and I must admit, I am a bit flattered now!

Their God must not have been listening, or had another plan… because I, except for the occasional visit to the church when I was 15 to see some of my buddies, stopped patronizing the Church and went out into the ‘real’ world.

I hitchhiked across the great ol’ US of A and was gone for months (this is another piece I have been working on for a year or so and will publish soon – Hitchhiking Adventures Across Amerika).

When I got back to Massachusetts, I was almost 18 and I joined the Military soon after. The Military got me out of my Childhood.

At once, I was thrown in the Mix with people from all around the States, mostly from the South.

I trained, fought & killed with the elite 82nd Airborne Division and was stationed at Fort Bragg, North Carolina.

I think I may have called Kristen once or twice from a pay phone my first year in, but we never saw each other again.

I had little or no contact after I was 17 years old with Kristen until 2009 when we found each other on line and became ‘friends’ again… and that is a mighty long time.

Letting go of the Past and accepting the Now can be a difficult thing after not seeing someone for so long. Meeting someone after years of no contact can be a bit traumatic as no one is the same they were 25 or 30 years ago. Based solely on her posts, she too is not the girl I knew 25 or 30 years ago. She seems to be struggling with this.

However, after just under two years of Wall Posts, Emails and the like with Kristen, and observing how she interacts with people in the Forum, she, in my opinion, which I know are like assholes (opinions that is, everyone has one), has become a bitter, man-hating, angst filled, self righteous, old lady. The kind I used to run away from when I was a boy… I mean, you can’t berate an old lady, can’t beat em’ up either… staying clear of them and waiting for them to die is about the only solution.

And yes, it pains to me to describe my Ol’ Chum this way.
Kristen apparently married, had a very unpleasant divorce (this may be where the Man hating comes in) and then met Husband Number 2. He also sounds like a very interesting guy as you will see in a moment.

Her second husband (would love to meet the first husband, perhaps I will someday, he must be a hoot) apparently is as brash as she is.

I am flattered that they sit around and talk about me at home… nothing like a bit of Old Woman gossip about little Ol’ me … it tickles me pink.

Here’s an example of what they chat about – directly from the Horses Mouth:

(Posted by Kristen) “So occasionally I will talk about Paul’s posts with my husband and kids. The response is always the same. Tonight I brought up this thread, and my son said: “He would never make it in the real world.” My astute, no-holds-barred, in-your-face husband said, “A grown man who sits on the computer playing bickering games. Doesn’t he have anything better to do with his time? Doesn’t he have a house to work on or a lawn to mow?” And then he remembered Paul’s comments and said: “Oh, right. He doesn’t ‘own’ anything. What a f*ing loser.” As the aunt whom I adore says : ‘Nuff said.’”

Of course calling a Dog a Cat doesn’t make the Dog a Cat.

What Kristen and her In Your Face husband, does not know is that I ‘owned’ 3 English Schools for 14 years, an entertainment company, a Martial Art School and now for all intent and purposes and for the sake of argument, I ‘own’ The Refuge Community Venue.

All were/are successful.

(Note –  I like to call myself the assistant director – and yes the janitor –  at The Refuge as it is run by the Community and everyone helps out, and contributes vastly to the organization of The Refuge Community. It is a true Social Experiment that seems to be working… no one ‘owns’ it in the American I want to own everything sense. It is a Community Venture).

Let me digress a quick moment on this matter and mention my thoughts on owning a House or a piece of Land:

The problem with the word ‘own’ is that the word is arbitrary.

Mr. Astute also thinks he ‘owns’ his house. Does he?

Does anyone own their house in the US?

We can all agree that One must pay taxes on the house that they bought. Those taxes can be raised, changed and the person that owns the house does not have much say in it. What happens when Mr. No Holds Barred doesn’t pay his taxes?

Well, he gets into trouble.

And what happens if Mr. In Your Face still refuses to pay his taxes (and then the back taxes and the subsequent interest on the taxes)?

I’ll let you answer that – but try not paying your Taxes on your Land/House and see if it is still yours when you get out of Jail.

(…and wait, did The Astutes buy the house outright? Do they still owe the Bank? Do they have a mortgage? I don’t know, that is personal information, but if so, they don’t own shittles.)

Owning a house is a fallacy.

‘Nuff Said.

The house does own you though.

The ‘owner’ of the house is chained to it.

No Freedom for that Fat Cat, is there?

Funny thing is, Kristen is in Real Estate, she sells this lie to people. (She also works with Children).

Digression complete.

Why haven’t I blocked her?

(MY NOTE: I eventually and reluctantly had to block her as you will soon find out)

Why haven’t I shoved her out of my Cyber-Box and barred the Door?

I was actually wondering the opposite.

Why hasn’t she blocked me?

What is going on her head that she would stay acquainted with a Rapscallion like me?

There are a few reasons why she remains on my People I Know list.

It could be that there is always that thread of hope that she will ‘come around’ one day and be nice, that she will debate and parley for the sake of Truth & Fun and learn how to Agree to Disagree.

Perhaps she will – one day – understand that she takes this a lot more seriously than many of us (or at least I) do.

Perhaps she will see that I am trying to get under people’s skin now and again… proverbial slaps in the face to wake people up (I get those slaps constantly… but I don’t get bitter about it… I embrace it).

Perhaps she will understand that many of us have very busy lives and only get on-line when we can (for me I post a bit of info for awareness sake and f*ck off. I read the Comments when I can and learn from them. I comment when I have time… though she has taken my silence as not being able to debate or not being smart enough).

Perhaps our Dear Acquaintance Kristen may even one day dispel of the self righteous, snarky, demeaning, holier than thou, boxed in, angst filled characteristics she displays with vigor whenever she responds to anyone’s posts that she disagrees with.

She has not learned the Art of Agreeing to Disagree.

If there were People out there that felt they needed Saving through Jesus, she is definitely not his Poster Child… and if anyone was teetering on the Jesus Fence, all they had to do was log on to some of the Dialogue I initiated, take a look at The Self Appointed Jesus Rep and be pushed onto The Other Side.

You know, the Fun, Grass is Greener, Search for Truth with an Open Mind Side.

But come Boston Paul… a thread of hope? That may be asking too much, there is not much that hangs on a thread. There must be more reasons for not blocking this ______ woman!

Indeed there is!

She’s a Writers Dream.

She is my unsuspecting Muse.

Hemingway, Poe, Kafka, Kundera – all  wish they had a Kristen.

You can’t buy one in any store, very difficult to find one on-line, she is all mine (and I share her with all of you).

Take and do what you will, don’t worry, it seems she can take it.

This very piece I am writing now has been inspired by her!

I have not thought so much about my Church Days as I have recently with Good Ol’ Kristen of The Wall.

I look back and have a few fond memories of being at The Church. Kristen has brought a few of those memories out…

The differences between us are vast now, as I chose to take Life by the reigns and Ride while she still sits in her little house in Hingham with her 2nd Husband and her Jesus and her daughter off at school and her son wondering who the hell this guy is on the other side of the planet that does not know what real life is (Join the Military, young boy, see some combat, have a few bullets zip past your ears, watch a friend die, kill someone, then come back and we’ll have a chat about Real Life… meanwhile Young Lad, you bask in the upper-middle-class fantasyland mommy & daddy have created for you and perhaps one day, when you break out of your safe little Hingham, Massachusetts Life, you will discover what is real and what is not.).

Kristen seems to have a lot of time on her hands. She is frustrated with many things in her Life me-thinks and I am her release, her scapegoat… we can’t take that away from her.

On another note, for those who know me personally and have not heard much from me, here is a quick update:

I am very happy where I am in my Life. I am surrounded by intelligent beautiful people that care about the Community, the World and little old me… who could ask for more?

I look down that long road I have traveled for 45 years.

I see Happiness at the beginning of that Road, Happiness only Children seem to have.

Then I see confusion, bitterness & searching for almost quarter my Life, then Happiness again.

Y’all know the allegorical Valley of the Shadow of Death?  Well – allegorically – I made it through.

I might add one last little bit to this piece.

I lived with Kristen’s Cousins for a total of one year – we’ll call them The Martinis.

It was some of the greatest moments of my life.

‘Chad’ and I are Life long Brothers – soul mates. Chad even came to live with me here in Taiwan for a year. Sister ‘Julie’ (also Kristen’s cousin) is a beautiful person with a hint of rebellion in her too (it’s been a while since I have seen her, there may be more than a hint of Rebel.)

The Martinis were a wonderful influence on me in many ways and I believe they helped shaped who I am now… and yes they were a Christian Family too… but not the Kristen kind of Christian.

Julie and Chad have also smashed out of their Boxes, so I know staying in said box and being the various adjectives Kristen is described as above and below, does not run in the Family.

Looking back, I see an emergence out of the Darkness onto a new path, the Path I am on now.

I have a beautiful Wife of 12 years and a Beautiful Son of 6 years who is my Everything.

If there is a God, that God sent Kristen to me, not to help save my soul (as she may hope), but as an instrument …and yes Entertainment.

I copy and paste every bit of Hilarity she posts with relish.

Indeed, like many of you, her posts at times make me wince, laugh at loud and indeed, give a bit of topic to chat about over beer and foosball when we all meet on the weekends.

She also gives us a bit of a glimpse of what goes on inside the mind of these Born Again Fundamentalists – this is valuable information. She may not strap bombs to her Chest and carry out Terrorist Attacks in the name of her God, but she would if she were commanded by Jehovah, I reckon.

To many of us who have got to ‘know’ her on-line in Various Discussions, she represents The Demented Jesus, the Awfully Affluent, the Ornery Old Caged Minx.

She is our very own Facebook Jester dancing around, falling down and getting back up unaware of the Smiles, The Grimaces, The Laughter.

She delights us all.

I may revise and update this bit when I get the chance, but in the meantime, I have to go mow the lawn of the House I do not own.

Peace and Love y’all.

INTERESTING UPDATE February 6 2012:

Sometime at The end of The Summer of 2011 I had to block Kristen from The Social Network Site. (Kristen can find me here… and she does read my Blog [Hello Kristen!] – she never dares comment of course for this small town, middle class Woman would never get away with what she has been trying to get away with when debating with an Intelligent International Audience), but she was just too much for many of the friends, acquaintances etc that I am connected to there.

People did not want to comment anymore because of this bitter woman.

It was either lose smart, intelligent people (who I also may or may not agree with) or Kristen.

I chose to lose the latter.

Months of quiet and relative peace ensued.

Then just a few short weeks ago, Kristen began looking for my contacts on-line and writing them private letters.

Here is one of them – Let the Good Times Begin!

From  Kristen:

Hi-

I saw your responses to Paul’s post about things all theists should keep in mind or something like that. Here is an exact quote from a message he sent me about a year ago on FB. You can imagine that it is only a small portion of a much longer, preachier, message from him. I am sending it to other people too. Thought you might find his flip-flopping interesting. He claims to be an atheist in order to align himself with the Cousin Avis of the world (great guy, I don’t blame him – that is pure sarcasm, by the way), and yet this is what he truly believes, at least according to him.

[BP:  Cousin Avi is a Very Good Acquaintance of mine that I do enjoy talking to on occasion. Aligning myself with Cousin Avi? I’m not sure what that means… since Cousin Avi and I probably disagree more than we agree.]

I will never understand why anyone would think Paul is a great guy. Charismatic, yes. But a great guy?! Those of us who knew him in his previous life see right through the act.

[BP: Kristen only knew me through my previous life at The Church. Me being a Christian was The Act… what people see now is The Real… as real as I can be).

At least most of us do. Poor Susan Howard is not known to have much going on upstairs, and the woman from his graduating class is just as clueless (and pretty angry).

[BP: This is how Kristen talked in the Debates as well… demeaning, name calling… what would your Jesus do Kristen? Would he act this way? Poor Susan Howard? How so? ]

Everyone else from his life before his move to Taiwan has very little to do with him. One of the guys he considers his closest friend actually warns people to not get involved in his posts. That speaks volumes!

[BP: I have been in Taiwan for over 17 years and have not been back to the states for over 5 years. When I left The States my relations with my family and friends were excellent and for the most part –as time not only heals wounds but nudges us from A to B are pretty good now considering I do not live in Amerika anymore.  Who is this ‘closest’ friend?]

I hope you appreciate how he adds the caveat at the end – essentially “my theism is better than your theism,” and his use of the word “tenants” instead of “tenets.” Anyone can kill this guy with intelligence and logic (i.e. So you believe in a god of your own creation who has lesser morals – no dogma=no law=no one does anything wrong – than you do? So you worship a lesser being? Um, what?!?)

[BP: My sentiment exactly…  Um, what?!?]

Please note that I never published any of this in response to his bizarre rants about me – but I felt it was kind of timely in light of his post about theists, and I am more than happy to provide context – in particular our more pleasant exchanges when we first became FB friends:

“Note that I am not an atheist. I do believe in the possibility of a higher power (as any skeptic studying the various tenants [BP: Ooops there’s the typo!] of physics should).

Unlike most religions, there is no dogmatic mire in my belief of a higher power I believe may be there (using rationale philosophical deduction). ” – (a.k.a “Paul Davies” and “Boston Paul”) 1/18/11

[BP: Yes, I see my Tenants & Tenets Typo…  what can I say? Because of a Typo, Everything I say after is wrong…. Yes that’s it!]

And since Cousin Avi was so vocal on Paul’s post, I thought I should include some of his comments. Here’s what he had to say to me about theists (Paul never disclosed that he considered himself a theist…obviously):

[BP: I am so happy she included this, it is worded well and describes Kristen (in light of recent events concerning Kristen) to a T!]

From Cousin Avi:

“Since you are the sort of gutless, stunned, stupid, yammering fuckwit who insists on having the last word and then running away like the coward you are [BP: she blocked Cousin Avi after not being able to keep up with the Dialogue]- completely and utterly lacking in anything like the conviction or principles you pretend to have but so plainly lack – I forward this to you, you simpering, Jesus cock gobbling bitch. You were told at least four times to FUCK OFF; to take your narrow minded, ignorant, uneducated, stunningly stupid, insistently myopic, willfully blind ass sucking religious bullshit off somewhere and blow it up the hind quarters of someone dumb enough to consider the tripe that spills from your mouth as anything other than sewage flushed from a decaying, desperate, putrescent cavity. But you can’t. You not only insist on remaining stone fucking ignorant of the world around you, simple scientific fact, the mountains of evidence piled up by great thinkers and researchers, history, geology, physics, chemistry, cosmology, biology…to name but a few disciplines…you further insist on trying to condescend to your intellectual betters as though you had some basis for doing so; as though you knew anything beyond your certain, completely fucking insane, unwarranted, unprincipled, illogical, ginned up, papier mache fantasy god – a thing for which you have no evidence whatsoever (which makes you exactly like every other stupid fucking theist of any stripe), and yet which permits you, in your infinite fucking brainlessness, to not only dismiss all those OTHER theists (all as fucktarded as you are), but the greatest minds in history and the entirely of scientific progress. You. Stupid. Fucking. Cunt.” -Cousin Avi

[BP: Cousin Avi does have a way with words!)

My friend – who Kristen contacted – replied:

I happen to know Paul very well. He’s a fun loving, peaceful guy with a big heart. You on the other hand, I don’t know at all. I can only guess from the nature of this message that you are not a good person. Seriously, who does this? This is vindictive. Please don’t message me again.

[BP: Kristen of course messaged him again]:

Kristen:

A peaceful, fun-loving guy does not post stuff attacking theists all the while claiming to be a theist himself. Who does that?!? He has you duped. You won’t hear from me again.

[BP: She is a bit confused on my Theist Views… but oh well].

My friend then writes:

You have gone out of your way to try and contact friends of someone that you don’t like, just to slur his name. You’ve gone behind his back to try and get his friends to turn against him. I say again, YOU ARE NOT A GOOD PERSON!

She then breaks her word and contacts my friend again with this:

Kristen:

I contacted people who had posted on his derogatory thread about theists. The point was not to turn people against him or slur his name. The point was to demonstrate, using his own words, that Paul is himself a theist – albeit a closet theist. A closet theist who slams theists. Kind of ironic and hypocritical, don’t you think? I thought it might enlighten you, but you missed the point. For the record, I never said I didn’t like Paul and I never said you weren’t a good person because of things you said that I didn’t like. I don’t like the approach that Paul chooses to take, and I don’t care for his double-speak. He is a poser. Your comments about him being a peaceful, fun-loving guy with a big heart would never jive with anyone who has known him in his “previous” life – namely his family. Ask him about his mom sometime. Or his little sister. Ask him about his Aunt Marilyn and Uncle Tom. ASk him what he said to them when they buried their son. There is so much you don’t know. But I don’t think that makes you a bad person.

[BP: I’m pretty sure everything with my family is cool… my sister and I have always had an on-off relationship… but My Mother? My Uncle Tom and Marilyn? My Cousin Tommy who was like a brother to me as kids growing up?  What did I say while I was in Taiwan and they were Burying my cousin in Amerika? Pray-tell!  Kristen, I know you are reading this, do you have one shred of evidence? I never thought you would be a Slanderer, or guilty of Libel! My, what time does to the Soul!]

Kristen then goes on:

By the way, Paul and I have a very long history. I have said plenty to his face. Feel free to share his comments about being a theist with him. You can tell him it was from me. And while you’re at it, maybe you could ask him why he is a liar and a hypocrite. He unfriended [BP: I blocked her] me and told people it was because I had contacted the powers that be at FB and said he wasn’t using his real name so they forced him to shut down his account. [BP: Someone did and it may have been her I never said it was definitely Kristen … but we’ll never know… she was the only one to use my full name in her posts to me, FB might have picked up on that.] That is a blatant lie. First of all, his old account is still active. Secondly, who cares?!? I certainly don’t. And he still isn’t using his real name. No one cares. He didn’t like that I had things to share about him that he would rather people didn’t know. This of course was after he went out of his way to write 7 or 8 blogs about me (yes, you read that correctly). [BP: Basically I just reposted her dialogues with my commentary, it makes for awesome reading!] He insulted my mother, my son, my husband. And me of course. [BP: I did not really insult anyone… But of course Kristen has not insulted anyone, eh?] Real nice. Paul is only fun-loving when you agree with him. When you don’t, he is psychotic.

[BP: Everyone is psychotic, some of us hide it better than others… that is how e all get along!]

My friend then wrote “You come off as a mean, spiteful person. So full of hate. The more you write, the more I don’t like you.” And subsequently blocked her.

Then I started getting Emails from a variety of people saying that Kristen had contacted them.

Hey Paul,

I debated whether I should send you this, but I feel perhaps you should know that that woman, Kristen, has emailed me privately to besmirch your name. It’s not the first time, but it is the first time in a while. I have provided below what she wrote and my response. Again, I’m not sure what good it will do, and I’m not trying to prove you or her wrong, but I think maybe you would like to know that her efforts to slander you continue. See below:

Kristen sent the exact same letter to Friend 2 and he replied:

please do not contact me with this sort of email, please. I rarely ever see Paul, I feel he is a bit kooky sometimes, but at the same time a well-meaning and giving individual. I have no problem with him at all, mostly because I do not find my self-identity in his belief system or in critiquing it. He has his beliefs and they are his own, just as I have mine. He is a bit inflammatory, and sometimes rude, but sticks and stones, as they say.

I do not understand why you put so much personal effort into denouncing one man. As far as I know, he is not a thief, rapist, or any of the many things that far surpass his “evil” of talking shit. You personal mission to destroy his name to others has not succeeded, nor will it. People are allowed to make up their own minds, and if you’d just put yourself in others’ shoes and considered: What if someone from one of your present list of real or online friends’ past kept railing against that friend? What if you had never ever met that person? Would you be prone to believe them? I doubt it. You appear to us who do not know you to be obsessed. Again, I don’t care why. But I will not just jump on your bandwagon and hate a man who has never wronged me just cause you say so.

I do not see him much at all, we live in different parts of Taiwan. But as far as my experience with him, he has never wronged me, nor have we ever had cross words for each other. I wish you would just respect that and remember, he isn’t a rapist or thief. Any killing he ever did was at the behest of his nation, for which many would call him a hero. That he doesn’t, and takes no pride in his actions, is to me, a noble trait.

Cousin Avi, on the other hand. I do not know him at all and have only ever seen him once in my life. I find him to be extremely odious, bitter and unhappy. And if his words sting, just imagine what it must be like to walk around day to day with the impotent rage and frustration so evident in his horrible texts. As they say, it truly does “suck to be him”.

I don’t know you, so I won’t assume to your motives or tell you what to do. But I think, since you are a Christian, you should just ask Jesus what you should do. Should you use this amount of energy to lambaste one man who frankly, one offends your personal sensibilities, or should you use this vast resevoir of energy to do something to help yourself, your family, community, world, etc….

Happy new year, and God bless. I am not averse to having continued contact with you and discussing things like religion and life, but I do not condone this sort of vindictive behavior.

These were just two of the few.

I have not contacted any of her friends. But as you can see, I have kept the transparency.

Stay tuned!

Peace and Much Love

LAST UPDATE February 6, 2012

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  1. I stumbled across this as I was surfing the Internet for some research I’m doing.

    This Kristen does not sound like a love filled woman of Jesus. She does not represent the many Christians I know around the World. Her angst does not flow with the blood Jesus spilled for us.

    I will pray for her and the anger she seems to be harboring.

    This ‘Boston’ Paul also has great potential to do good work for the Lord. But he seems so backslid in his walk with Jesus. I don’t understand how he could love Jesus and then turn 180 degrees the other way. I will pray for him too.

    I will also pray that someday they will reconcile, they seemed to have loved each other when they were going to church together.

  2. :Cousin Avi, on the other hand. I do not know him at all and have only ever seen him once in my life. I find him to be extremely odious, bitter and unhappy. And if his words sting, just imagine what it must be like to walk around day to day with the impotent rage and frustration so evident in his horrible texts. As they say, it truly does “suck to be him”.

    Who is the King of Snap Judgments that wrote this bit of twaddle-headed crap? I have something rather more potent to share.

    • Save it for The BMW.

    • I didn’t know you were impotent, Cousinavi.

      That goes part of the way to explaining the anger 🙂 But it makes the hot new girlfriend a little harder to explain that it was already.

  3. Reblogged this on Militant Hippi.

  4. Boston Paul,

    Good to see you finally back. Keep it that way. (Although, who is this Luap person?) As I’ve said before, you need to spend less time arguing with idiots on Facebook and more time spreading wisdom here. Why? For one, this is the kind of bullshit you see on Facebook.

    “I will talk about Paul’s posts with my husband and kids. The response is always the same. Tonight I brought up this thread, and my son said: “He would never make it in the real world.” My astute, no-holds-barred, in-your-face husband said, “A grown man who sits on the computer playing bickering games. Doesn’t he have anything better to do with his time? Doesn’t he have a house to work on or a lawn to mow?” And then he remembered Paul’s comments and said: “Oh, right. He doesn’t ‘own’ anything. What a f*ing loser.” -Kristen

    What about a grown woman and her husband who have nothing better to do with their time than argue with and gossip about said “f*ing loser”. Then again, that’s exactly what Facebook is built for. Lonely & bored folks looking up people from their past to try to get even or make themselves feel superior, or realize they have nothing in common anymore, or arranging an affair with them, etc.

    What about a grown woman who can’t bring herself to use the word “fuck”, even while she’s using it? That and the “nothing better to do” comment are perfect little examples of the hypocrisy of such a mindset. Are her Kristian morals preventing her from cursing? Clearly not. That and the divorce also suggests she isn’t following her own Kristian values. Are these values preventing her from casting stones on other people? Clearly not. It seems she casts stones on people all the time. Are her Kristian values making her a better person? Clearly not. But it sure does give her the ability to pretend like she is better.

    From what little I’ve heard of her, she seems to be the stereotypical, small town, narrow minded, nasty, Kristian who uses their religion to make themselves feel superior to others and to belittle them, often just because they are different. They sit on their porches, judging & gossiping about anyone and everyone, even each other. Because there are no porches anymore, they now use Facebook. It lets them be more nasty, more often and more quickly.

    Generally, I think people are usually in the past for a good reason. You need to stop dwelling in the past and arguing with intransigent idiots and move into the future by spreading your wisdom and philosophy (ie How many Americans own their home and does their home really own them?) to people who aren’t stuck in what amounts to a hi-tech stone age.

  5. Wow. I am astonished that someone who preaches peace and love and who purports to have mastered “the art of agreeing to disagree” could write such a hateful and hurtful piece. Really, comparing her to a terrorist? Calling her “self righteous, snarky, demeaning, holier than thou, boxed in, angst filled”? And acting like your righteous somehow because you left her last name out of it (as if most of your readers aren’t also your FB friends)? You spent so much time and energy writing a piece just to take out your anger and frustration. I don’t get it. I think it’s awful.

    • You have obviously have never had the pleasure (or pain) of interacting with Kristen in any dialogue concerning Religion.

      We call em’ how we see em’.

      We would expect Christians to defend each other however, no matter how wrong they are.

      I spent exactly an hour (not all at once) and not much energy (I was going to type with one hand and perhaps do some arm curls to expend more energy, but decided expediency took precedence). writing this piece, and then yes, I went and mowed my lawn.

      Being an advocate for Peace & Love in the world, does not mean we do not defend ourselves when problems arise.

      I’m a Militant Hippie, mind you.

      (Heather is my cousin on my Mother’s side and went to the same church).

      • When you recall my statement (Calling her “self righteous, snarky, demeaning, holier than thou, boxed in, angst filled”?) did you copy and paste that or type it all out letter by letter?

        Just curious.

        I just copied and pasted it… you know, to save time.

      • Nice of you to write out that statement causing people to assume that because I went to the same church as a child, I am one of those Christians you despise so much and clearly would defend another church member in any argument. I no longer associate with any church or religion – if you kept up with me, you would “know” that. But I do not tolerate prejudice, and as I have discussed with you before, I believe your writings are prejudicial as a whole. In this particular instance, I am defending Kristen because you have painted her as an extremist and a villain, and she’s not – she’s someone who believes in something (like you supposedly believe in open-mindedness) and is attempting to defend her belief. I don’t “know” Kristen personally anymore, but I have known her and her family all my life, and they are kind and generous people who don’t deserve the treatment they received here.

      • Apologies, Good Cousin. I was very happy to read “I no longer associate with any church or religion –” and my apologies for assuming so.

        If you had read the numerous Posts Kristen has left over the last year or so, this Blog Post and subsequent other posts pale in comparison.

        I have not painted her as an Extremist. She IS an extremist.

        She posts her statements in my corner of the Cyber World, I did not invite her to. She should then expect repercussions from her statements. When someone disagrees with her, they are ignorant and she will pray for them.. or they are too ‘young’ thus they have no idea what they are talking about… you, Good Cousin are much younger than me and never have I (in the very few meetings we have had in our Lifetime) talked down to you, patronized you, or assumed that I knew more about everything than you.

        I would ask that – if this is important to you – to dig a bit deeper, check out past posts and then come back to the table with a bit more understanding.

        It sounds like your posts here are ‘for the old days’ and reek of Nostalgic Sentiment.

    • For the record, I wouldn’t go on Facebook if Boston Paul paid to fly me to Lovestock every year, set me up with every hottie there, and agreed to supply me up with a free lifetime supply of the best herbal therapy available on that side of the Pacific.

      His (sorrily neglected) blog is my only contact with him. I think he wastes far too much time with the Kristens of the world in that damn place.

      Every second you spend on a fundamentalist is a second you could be doing useful things like fixing a broken rotary phone or watching ice melt.

      • My next Mission in Life is to get Sedate me to come to LUVstock.

        😉

      • Much appreciated. However, (asexually speaking) my “luv deficit” is bigger than the US national debt, so you better be prepared to provide me with one hell of a lot of “luv”.

  6. Thanks for your post Paul, I applaud your honesty in the story and I feel I know you better than I did before. I admire your hearfelt review of your history with her and understand your hope of being understood! Hope you continue to be well and evolving,

    with love,

    Mike L.

    • Thank you Mike.

      I hope to have Tea with Kristen when I am 85 years old, so we can laugh about the old days bickering on a social networking site.

  7. no matter what religion or path one follows, “by their fruits will ye know them”. Anyone with that much anger actually manages to create exactly the opposite of what she intends. If I never knew anything about Jesus other than from her and her example, I would stay away from the guy.

    • Well said Young Scholar!

  8. Well written Paul, and I understand why it was written as well.. I read 2wice, i found nothing so personal in it that could upset her.. the only thing really personal was her divorce.. is that a bad thing for Xtians??
    and after all, she discusses you with others.. “What’s good for the goose, is good for the gander”
    This article of yours made me laugh, thanks!!!

    • Divorce is essential. It is not bad for anyone, we try to make the right decisions the first time around.

      The divorce is mentioned yes, but not focused on.

      She seems to have found her soul mate with her 2nd Husband… and enjoy walks on the beach, BBQs and talking shit about me before they go to bed.

      My work is done.

  9. Hi Paul.

    You know, it really saddens me to see all the stuff you wrote about kristen, because it wasn’t just dealing with FB issues.
    You wrote a lot of hurtful things about her personal life that I don’t think was really necessary.
    There is not a lot of “peace & luv” in this piece.
    Despite what you may think or feel about what she has to say, with all due respect, seriously, you did not do yourself any justice by saying things that would hurt her if she read them.
    It just makes me feel a bit sad. On the one hand you talk of patience & love, light & peace but on the other hand, you know how to strike where it would hurt the most……and you did, against someone you once confided in & who confided in you. You used private info. about her life in this piece against her. That is such a betrayal. Can’t you see that?

    Anyway…….just my 2 cents

    Michele

    • Thanks you for the 2 cents Michele.

      This is a short story. It is a fair piece and it was not meant to be hurtful. There is nothing too private here and I do not feel I was out of line.

      It’s just literature.

      I was 15 years old the last time we ‘confided’ we were totally different people then… there is no betrayal.

      I can’t say much more than I did to your last post below.

      Peace and Love.

      • (UPDATE)

        Michele eventually got her own taste of Kristen and also had to block her.

    • She’s on Facebook. Obviously, she doesn’t give a shit about privacy. Besides Boston Paul didn’t say anything that would obviously constitute a betrayal. She’s Kristen the Kristian from Bumblefuckham and she & husband #2 have nothing better to do than talk about a guy she hasn’t seen in decades, but argues with on Loserbook.

      Big whup!

  10. What ever happened to, your advice, to “Lighten up, ol’chum, and don’t take things so seriously.”…….( I may not have the quote exact, word for word, but you know you have advised Kristen as well as others with this basic sentiment ) You posted this stuff about Kristen on your blog, instead of on a note on the FB forum, which tells me that you take what she has to say VERY seriously. I just find that interesting. To take the time required to write what you just posted, she must be well under your skin. 🙂

    • Indeed I have Michele!

      And I am light as I can be.

      This Blog Post was written more for me than anyone.

      There was a flood of Inquiries about they called a Mad Woman and how she could hate me so (especially being a X-ian).

      This post just saved me a year of answering everyone Individually.

      But no… nothing much gets under my skin what isn’t already there (you know the other layers of skin, blood vessels, and stuff like that)… I took a little bit of time because I cared.

  11. Hey BP,

    It was nice to get further insight into your life and your relationship with Kristen. Through FB I have also had a brief discourse with her, which I chose to discontinue as it was going nowhere.

    I think this was the best thing to do at the time, but it still nags at my conscience.

    The thing that nags at me is her zealotry. Without knowing a thing about me she was convinced that her assumptions about me were true. Without directly answering my questions about the direction of the discussion she continued to question me about trivialities. Instead of approaching the discussion with an open mind and exploring where she or I may be mistaken, she chose to ram through her dogma.

    My purpose here is not to denigrate her personally, but to express my disdain with this mindset, and my inability to get through to the many that share it. I am not sure that I will ever be able to do so.

    My purpose also is to express my appreciation for the community that you have fostered here in Taichung.

    I have met many people at the refuge with whom I disagree, but I love the fact that most will talk rationally and open mindedly about it.

    And I love the most the quote which started my discourse with her:

    “I do not agree with what you have to say, but I’ll defend to the death your right to say it.”

    • Thank you for sharing Bill, I don’t think she is evil. I do, as I said in the Post, have fond memories from over 25 years ago) of her.

      But she is valuable. It is a Window into the Mind of how Conservative Fundamentalist Christian Republican, Fox News Loving Americans see the World.

  12. Well written, Paul. I’ve struggled my entire life to break out of that conservative Jesus box and I’m there. I can entirely understand what you’ve written about what the common “amerikan dream” is, and why it doesn’t work. Or that people aren’t creative enough to think outside of what it COULD be, rather than being told what it is.

    I reconnected with Jeau some time ago (when I was still living in NH). She was one of my best friends in junior high/high school and we lost touch but we’re back in contact. I remember hanging at the Norwell house with her often and always doing something with her. There’s definitely a level of rebel in her somewhere between you and I, I think.

    I used to be good friends with Kristen’s family, too. It’s funny, once I stopped my association with SSBC, I think their friendliness to me ceased. Maybe that’s in my head, but the timeline seems appropriate. A bit hypocritical. Well, a lot hypocritical really.

    Well written, my friend. Well written. And as always, though provoking (and In Your Face does NOT apparently appreciate “thought provoking” and calls it online bickering. He has apparently never seen real online bickering…lol.

    • Thank you Sue.

      I hope that someday she sees the Light. Perhaps she is struggling herself right now and venting. Patience and Love will see us all through.

      • I don’t have much of either anymore.


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