The Beast In My Life is Under Control

baby for blog

The Baby just kept staring

I remember chatting with an old timer quite a few years ago and he told me a story…

He had an eye twitch and would intermittently stare off into the distance and not say anything for several minutes. I dared not even clear my throat. After the moment passed he continued his story. I thought he might snap out of it, clear his throat and say, “Now where was I..?”

But he continued the story exactly where he had left off.

He told it to me in first person present tense narrative.

Like it was happening right then in front of me.

It was a creepy.

I found myself holding my breath for most of his tale…

His tale went something like this:

I AM HOLDING MY FRIEND’S BABY BOY. He is so small in my arms. He looks up at me gurgling and smiling. You’re great with kids, they say to me. Babies have a sense about people the same as animals. Babies can sense evil or if someone is inherently bad. This is what they say to me. I rock the small child in my arms, scarcely believing that once upon a time, I too, was once that tiny and people held me the same way. I sit down on a chair still holding this delicate child. Everyone else has gone into the kitchen and left me alone with him. I appear to be watching TV and the baby falls asleep in my lap. I look down at him and he takes a deep baby breath. I smile.

  At once I have this thought. I don’t know how this thought could have ever entered my mind, but suddenly I want to crush this child. I want to take his little head in one of my hands and squeeze it until I crush his skull. The baby is that cute. So cute that I could Love it to Death.

I remember once when I was a little child. Our dog gave birth to puppies. I remember how cute they were! I remember one little pup. I liked it best. How precious it was! I remember one time I gave it a big hug. I hugged it so tight, that it began to squirm. A moment later it stopped squirming and I was holding a dead little puppy. I almost cried. I ran out of our house and put the dead pup behind a stone wall where our rented property ended.

That night, Mother asked my sister, brother and I if we had seen one of the puppies. She looked at me when she asked. It was like she knew. I never owned up to it and I never admitted it to anyone…   not even myself.

I look down at the baby. He is looking right at me. Directly into my eyes. He’s not smiling anymore. I take his soft little head in my hand.

He stares at me and I stare right back.

I begin to squeeze.

“Is he sleeping? His mother comes into the living room.

“He was,”  I say. “Looks like he just woke up.”

She smiles at me.

“You’re so good with kids, Jess.”

The mother takes baby in her mother’s arms, but he is still staring at me.

I hate to be stared at.

I let out a deep sigh as the mother walks into the other room leaving me alone with my thoughts.

                                 ~The Beast in my Life is under control~


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You might also like to read some other short stories:

(slightly disturbing)

Published in: on January 12, 2016 at 12:10 AM  Comments (1)  

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One CommentLeave a comment

  1. I’m told that, when I was a baby, I had the exact same expression as this one. I have no reason to disbelieve them, as this is currently my version of a “happy face”.

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