This is My Weapon and This is My Gun

Airborne tat chest 2

It’s the mid 1980s and I find myself in Central America. I’m young. I’m passionate. I’m a Brainwashed Minion. A Pawn. A Robot. A Lean Mean Fighting Machine.

It’s hot. My uniform is soaked with sweat. In the distance I hear munitions exploding. I hear sirens. Helicopters overhead. Jets scream by.

I am counting boxes filled with bombs and bullets.  Ammo Detail they call it. I’ll be doing this mundane shit until they figure out what we are all going to do in this lovely Central American country.

Getting ammo ready for issue. How did I get stuck doing this shit job?
Like peeling potatoes or mopping the floor in the latrine. You have to fuck up to get stuck doing this shit. Soon, perhaps I’ll move to the front where the action is.

I finish loading boxes and sit on the ground and relax with my M-16 rifle.

This is my Weapon and this is my Gun, this is for Killing and this is for FUN.

I’ll rest. Rest and Wait. Wait for what? To fight maybe, to go home. I don’t know.
Being here though, gives me a lot of time to think, to confirm and develop philosophies.

I have butterflies in my stomach.

I am scared and excited at the same time.

I volunteered to fight for my country.
“Would you die for your country?’ has always been a morale boosting question.
Military men have asked me that many times.

And my answer is always the same:


“NO?” They blurt out. “WHY?”

They are always astonished at my answer and probably think I’m Communist until I tell them:

“Comrade,” I always begin, “I am going to Live for my country and give some other poor bastard the opportunity to Die for his.”

(What good will I do for my country, if I’m dead…?)

My, it is a spinning world. Spinning out of control in my part of the universe. I’m holding on tight. Keeping a strong grip until this universal whirlwind subsides.

I try to make the Calm in my mind. I try to subdue the tempestuous state in my world. My universe within.

I am me.
I am the Black Sheep.
I am the Shepherd.
I am the Freak Show.
The biker.
The once Born Again Christian, The Buddhist, The Taoist. The Agnostic.
I am the Spiritual One.  The Metaphysical Bum.

I am me, and yet I ponder:
Who am I?
What am I?
I am someone different to someone everyday.

One minute I am floating to earth having just jumped from an airplane… the next I am huddled next to a comrade in arms, listening to explosions.

I am violent and soft.
I laugh and cry.
Part of me is born, everyday, part of me dies.
Am I the same person I was ten years ago?
I dare say, Hardly.
Does anyone know who or what they really are?

Are we living or existing?



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Proud to be American? Why?

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Proud to Be American?

                 Proud to be American?
Have you thought about Why?

We see numerous posts bombarding our social network pages by ‘Americans’ (we’ll get to what a ‘real’ American is in a moment)  exclaiming and proclaiming how they are proud to be American.  These ‘I AM PROUD to be AMERICAN!’  memes are often accompanied by a picture of an American flag or some other piece of propaganda.

God Bless America is another one that plagues the cyber world.

Is Amerika – out of the other 200-ish countries in the world – the only one that their god blesses? Doesn’t this God of theirs bless other countries as well? Why Bless Amerika specifically?

It certainly seems that way as their god blesses their Amerika ….and boy, are they are proud of it!

Often accompanied with God Bless America is a picture of a flag and The American white skinned, blue eyed, blond haired, Jesus.

Proud to be American & God Bless America are often posted by the same type of people i.e. Conservative Republican Protestants.

For now though, let’s focus on being a Proud American since I do not have the inclination to open up two cans of worms.


Hearing Proud to be American so often, I decided to give it some serious thought.

Very serious thought.

First – just so there is no confusion – let’s look at the word Proud  from an etymological standpoint just so people reading this will have a place to start.

We need to know what words actually mean, before we can dissect phrases such as this one.

Here is the etymology for Proud:

*Old English prud, prute “excellent, splendid; arrogant, haughty.

*Old French prud, oblique case of adjective prouz “brave, valiant” (11c., Modern French preux; compare prud’homme “brave man”)

*from Late Latin prode “advantageous, profitable” (source also of Italian prode “valiant”)

*a back-formation from Latin prodesse “be useful,” from pro- “before, for, instead of” (see pro-) + esse “to be” (see essence).

Here are three general modern meanings of the word Proud I found in various dictionaries:

1. Feeling pleasure or satisfaction over something regarded as highly honorable or creditable to oneself.

In other words, something you have done or something to do with – like learning to play Chopin or having a child who learns to play Bach when he’s 6 years old – that gives you honor or credit.
(Remember this for later in the article)

2. Having, proceeding from, or showing a high opinion of one’s own dignity, importance, or superiority.

OK. Think about where that high opinion comes from. Ask yourself why does one feel important or superior (which means if one feels superior, then others must be inferior, right)? What has one done to make them feel this way?

3. Highly honorable or creditable: a proud achievement.

Again, something someone has done and had success doing it.

                                                                                                                                         Moving on…

OK, we’ve got the general gist of what proud is.  Now for the American bit.

Let’s first discern what an American actually is.

What is an American?  Furthermore… what exactly is America?

A person, by chance is born of parents that lived on a piece of land that for a few hundred years has been called America. Except that this piece of land is part of The Americas which also include the following countries and territories*:

Guyana Francesa
Costa Rica
El Salvador
Dominican Republic
Puerto Rico
Antigua & Barbuda
Saint Kitts & Nevis
Saint Lucia
Saint Vincent & the Grenadines
Trinidad & Tobago
United States of America
(*I have listed 38 major countries/territories here, but it is not a full list. It is actually closer to 47!)

What is interesting is that the name America (as many of us that research events in history know) was named after an explorer named Amerigo Vespucci and was perpetuated by a German map maker named Martin Waldseemüller and the name was originally referring NOT to the area of the United States but to South America.

Spain refused to call this land mass America for two hundred years thinking this ‘New’ World should be named after Columbus!

(personally, I’m glad it wasn’t named after Columbus. I think he was an egotesticle schmuck.. yeah, I said it.)

The United States government simply hijacked the word America. We must not forget that the countries and territories listed above are also part of the Americas and are by default Americans. Which means that at one point in history, the USA has declared war on or bullied Fellow Americans that live in other countries (countries that make up what we call The Americas) starting from the birth of The United States onward.

  But exclaiming, ‘Proud to be a United Statesian!’ just doesn’t have the same ring, does it?

(The whole Immigration Problem spouted by politicians is IRONIC since the area of the US bordering Mexico used to belong to Mexico and was appropriated -stolen by force- from Mexico)


Luckily the rest of the world usually uses ‘The States’ when talking about The US of A.

Now let’s discuss what Proud and America(n) mean together in the phrase Proud to be American.


How can one be ‘proud’ to be from a country? What have they done to be proud?

One might be a good person; a good musician; have a great sense of humor; have raised some good kids; and so on… and one can certainly be proud of their kids, proud of the music they make, the cake they bake, the cool shit they’ve done around the house… why? Because one has had something intrinsically to do with these things – the kids, the house, the music… the cake.

But proud to be American? Based on what was defined above… how is it possible?

Let’s think about this logically…. rationally.

If you are a Proud American, ask yourself this:

What the F#$%^ have you actually ‘done’ to be a proud American?

Wasn’t it by pure chance that you just happened to be born in The U.S. of Amerika?

One does not pick the country they are born in, do they?

The Modern Proud American had nothing to do with starting the country that is actually called The United States.

Perhaps Thomas Jefferson, George Washington, Sam Adams and the rest of the posse may have been proud to be ‘American’ or ahem, a United Statesian, but that is because they were actually directly and intrinsically involved with the birth of the Nation. They took action, risked their lives, their families’ lives, their property, and their reputation (since about half of the people living on the land called America – and this includes Canada – back then considered themselves to be British) to kick-start what is now called The United States of America.

Most Americans have not fought for their country. And those soldiers who are ‘fighting’ for The United States now are certainly not fighting for the Freedoms that those in the American Revolution or even the Civil war fought for, but rather they are mere pawns fighting for corporate interests.

So people ‘serving’ in the military can’t be proud either… it is a false sense of pride at best… brainwashing does that to people.

People that live in the US have done nothing…. Absolutely NOTHING that merits being Proud to be a United Statesian.

Nothing that is but work their asses off at underpaying jobs while paying high taxes and not receiving a hell of a lot of benefits from those taxes (though the United Statesian’s tax dollar does go to not only bombing the shit out of other countries, but also keeps its Citizens in line – on their own soil – via a militarized police force with ultra-modern weapons aimed at them – the US Citizen – at any given time).

If you are a United Statesian that happens to feel ‘Proud to be American’ perhaps it is because you believe you have contributed to the economy with your time and labor, not unlike a peasant working for the Lord of The Manor (you’re not alone, much of the world is like this). But let’s get a clue: that ain’t shit to be proud about.

Proud Americans have not actually done anything to warrant being proud. If you are reading this post and you are American and you are proud, please let us know why… I’ll edit this post and include your reasons.

Have you been in the military? Have you held a political office? Even that isn’t a reason to be proud as the military and the politicians (right and left, there is no distinction) have done NOTHING to make the lives of the Citizens of the United States better; but have done a great job at making over half the world hate The United States of America’s guts…. which is why it is getting harder and harder to live in the US and also why it is getting more expensive and a lot more difficult to get by.

Except for those that own their own business and know how to work the books, or in high demand (like under-water welders), or CEOs of a big corporation (who do much of their business off shore… so they’re not really – for all intent and purposes – even considered American).

How many United Statesians have lost their jobs? How many United Statesians have seen a considerable increase in their wages ….or even have job security?

Don’t fool yourself.  We all see the I lost my job/I didn’t get promoted posts on-line all the time.

If people in The US of A stopped being proud by merely living in a country that they had no choice of being born in; of being proud of a country that in recent decades has left a raging dingle-berry mark on the planet; and cared more about what is happening in other countries and had a general knowledge of what was going on in the world (perhaps read a F@#$%^& history book now and again to know what has already happened in the world), then the world would be a better place. Believe me.

Knowledge IS Power.

Proud to be American? Realize that this phrase is an empty, propaganda line of F#$%^ing bull-cuck.

Do you want to be proud? Then be proud of being YOU. Be proud of your family. Be proud of your accomplishments. Be proud of the things you have an actual reason to be proud of!

Be proud that you’re an Earthling and that despite the odds our Species has made it this far (though we might not be here very much longer the way things are going).

Be happy and realize that your Life-style is a result of millions of people all over the world – past and present – that have contributed in the way of technology, making your toys, your appliances, growing your food, physics, math and philosophy (thank the Persians – i.e. those living in the area of Iran – for saving Greek philosophy and medicine after the Catholic Church burned books and refused to let its members learn about it, as the only book they deemed worthy was their bible).

And please also realize that without these millions of people – past and present – from all over the world, where would you be and what the F#$%^ would you have to be proud of?

We are Earthlings first.

The fact that we are here and we have advanced so far as a species – despite the natural and man-made barriers – IS something to be proud of.

Being born in a certain region of the world certainly is not.



2. Webster’s Dictionary
6. On Line World Maps


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